The coke head and the car

Chapter one: December 24

So it’s Christmas Eve of 2015 and surprisingly I’m not in the mood to put that shit on. Instead the mood was “the holidays ain’t the holidays no more”, you know the vibes be off when everybody on boosie shit. With that being said, it was a normal day for me. I was casually looking for some freaks on Snapchat, when I noticed I had a message.

exoticfvreign: you from Oakland?

officialscoob: Fuck no lol im from da Rich.. where u from?

exoticfvreign: Lol im from Sac.. I just asked cause that’s where you were in your snap.

So of course, I go watch her snap to see what its talking bout forreal. Cool lil asian bitch, tatted up, posting bankroll here and there type shit. At this point I wasn’t moved by the Christmas spirit, it was the freaky bum vibes that motivated my actions to come.

officialscoob: oh so u watching me huh? I feel it lol

exoticfvreign: a little lol you’re not doing anything for the holidays?

officialscoob: Nah im a Jehovah witness I don’t celebrate holidays

exoticfvreign: lmfao bye! You play

exoticfvreign: Probably finna go on a date with yo bitch lol

And honestly, at this moment I should have left her ass right in them chats. Any bitch that assume you got a bitch before asking is a red flag. Sidenote: I also hate when bitches try to pull that foreign card, you from Sacramento bro. None of that matters though because I still chose to consciously proceed.

officialscoob: you my bitch, so where we finna go?

exoticfvreign: lmfao u really play

officialscoob: Im not playin, all I want for Christmas is you lol

exoticfvreign: you gonna come to Sac?

officialscoob: If u come get me

exoticfvreign: If I come get you, you gotta spend the night.

officialscoob: Ok

So I sent her the address she could pick me up from and we set it up for the next day. I know exactly what y’all thinking, she drove to Richmond from Sac to come pick up a stranger she met on Snapchat so he could spend the night on Christmas. Yes. We were both horny and probably longing for intimacy. It’s dry not having nobody to fuck during the holidays. I was juiced cause I probably was just gon get drunk and watch the grinch. But the universe had different plans for me, the gift of coochie.

Chapter two: December 25

Christmas is here, Moms got the joint smelling good. Good greens, good yams, good mac n cheese, good ham, good dressing, hella shit. You know me, I’m throwing back shots of eggnog. I’m getting dressed, spraying my cologne, and things. I hear my mama say

“Where you goin”.

I say “Around the corner”.

“On Christmas”, she reply. I can see the disappointment in her face. “Why you never wanna stay here with me on the holidays”, she add.

“Who wanna be in the house all the time”, I say.

“Mmmhmm I guess”, she say.

Damn am I a bad son for ditching my mom on Christmas to go have sex with a random bitch I met on snapchat? At this point, I was already too deep in… she was on her way. She arrives about a hour and a half later, and I gather my belongings. I made sure to grab stick, just in case a nigga thought about climbing through any windows.

I get in her whip, cool lil Honda nothing extravagant. The first thing she says

“You know anybody who got Xans”.

No Hi, Hey, nothing. I respect straightforward shit but all I could think is crackhead.

“Nah I don’t actually”, I say.

“Ok what about weed”, she say.

I’m like “Fasho, I’ll tell you where to go”. “Dat exotic foreign.. what’s yo real name?” I follow.

“Nina, what’s yours?”, she reply.

“Scoob”, I say.

“Yo mama did not name you that”, she say.

I’m like “You wanna see my ID?”. “He up here though to the left”, I say as we pull up to the weedman.

She hand me the money as bro walking up to the car. Soon as I roll my window down

She go “Do you know who got Xans?”.

He give her that “and who the fuck are you” look that Day Day gave the bitch in the restaurant. So he shake his head and serve me. I’m thrown off, but not enough to cancel the plans. We kick one to Sac and I’m like bladadah. Conversation was cool all the way there. I’m picking her brain tryna see where them random bankrolls she been posting was coming from. She had a regular job. A pharmacy, maybe. She was one of those girls who post pimp bait. Vacations, hotel mirror pics, hella money. Didn’t quite have the body for the club, but definitely acceptable enough to go crazy on the blade. But as we’re talking more and more I’m realizing that she wasn’t no game. She just had the hoe aesthetic. That’s neither here nor there, just my observation.

We get to Sac and y’all can probably guess the first thing she said. Yes, she said something about Xans. At least this time she knew where to get em. So at this point I’m like damn. Am I ugly? Do she need the Xan to fuck me? Do she feel catfished? I’m quiet. She pull up to da Xan nigga, get like 6 of them thangs. She ask if ima take em with her and of course I say yes. Doing anything just like a crackhead. We pull up to her folks joint. Idk where the fuck they was at cause we was definitely in that bitch to the neck. I’m walking through the living room seeing hella Buddha statues and pictures with crazy letters on em. I just kept thinking I know this bitch parents hate her and she got the nerve to have a black nigga all in they lil sanctuary.

We get to her room and she get to straightening up. I just laugh to myself and start getting comfortable. She give me one to pop and she throw two in a soda. We gettin high listening to music, laughing, all the shit. Idk if it was the Xans or what, but she kept rambling on and on. I couldn’t wait for her to shut up to be real. The drugs started to set in. One thing about Xans, them mfs gon have you nodding off like a real fein. So I guess she caught me in a nod and decided to keep me awake. With what you ask? Some top of course.

She pull my dick out and start sucking on my shit in slow motion on some high shit. So I’m definitely anticipating a long night. I start pushing her head down, you know so she could really get into it. Her motion never changed. But I can deal with bunk head, cause I really came for the pussy. I get on top and start rubbing my dick on her clit on some porno shit. Before I knew it my whole dick slipped in. How I grew up, it should be some resistance before entry. It was like somebody had already kicked this door in. I was wandering around in a house with no walls or belongings. I get my last lil pumps in, I really ain’t care if I was going crazy or not. I was disappointed and ready to KO off them sleeping pills. So like Bobby and Whitney we got high, fucked, and took our dumbasses to sleep.

chapter three: December 26

We wake up around 9 or 10, still sleepy off the shit. I’m instantly ready to cut, the vibes was not vibing. She drive back to Richmond from Sac. Since we in Richmond we decide its best I drive now. We stop at a gas station and she give me another one to pop, pops one herself, and puts the other one in a soda. I’m back activated off the rebap so we start bending corners. I’m doing hella shit in her lil Honda. I even go pick up my potna.

We driving around for a good 20 mins, dry forreal. We drive past the store on 15th and Cutting and we see some of our other potnas. I’m in the driver seat highsiding, whole back turned saying what’s up to them as I’m driving.

BOOM! My dumb high ass bap into a parked car. She in the car going crazy screaming and hella shit. My potna in the backseat no seatbelt on moving like a rag doll. My potnas down the street laughing and talking shit. I’m in the drivers seat shamed. So like a real nigga I pull off and go in front of my potna in the backseat joint. We get there and all bounce out. She start having a panic attack and rightfully so, her whole bumper was crushed in. My potna mama outside and she pull me to the side.

“You was driving?”, she ask me.

I go “Yeah I was”.

She like “How long you knew her?”.

“Since yesterday forreal”, I reply.

“Don’t give that bitch none of yo information, she should have insurance”, she say.

“I’m already knowing, she don’t know shit about me”, I say.

Terrible. But not really, cause I was still willing to help her figure it out. We smoked, then she called her folks and the insurance company. She still tripping out but she more calm than before. She was really concerned about what her Mom and Dad was gon say. At this point, she back on me wanna be hugged up and shit.

She say “You really fuck with me?”.

I’m like “Yeah of course I fuck with you.. why you say that?”.

“I just need to know you really fuck with me, cause I don’t even care about this car shit like that”, she say.

“I do”, I say back.

“Ok if you take a selfie with me and let me post it, I won’t even trip off you paying for the car”, she say.

In my head, I’m like that’s it? This bitch is insane. So I fasho take the selfie like I’m her forever nigga. She juiced, feeling her game. I kinda think she had a concussion, she start tryna post hella videos of us and in one she like “Don’t play with my nigga, he a kill you”. First of all, as a asian bitch why you calling me yo nigga. And two, bitch I’m not finna kill nobody don’t even put that energy into the atmosphere. So I’m thrown off again, ready for her to cut. After another hour of us chilling outside, I finally send her on her way. Bumper hanging off and all.

Everything’s regular the next couple of days, on my end at least. Nina on the other hand had hella shit going on. They denied her hit and run claim that she filed because they detected that a seatbelt was in use at the time of the crash. This contradicted her initial statement because she claimed her car was parked at the time of the accident. Being the real man that I am I told her I would still help pay to get it fixed.

The next day after her insurance claim was denied, I get a call. This time she’s crying and saying her cousin is a fake bitch. It all honestly sounded like gibberish. So long story short, after a long night of doing coke and whatever else she ends up losing her wallet that had her ID and bank card in it. So naturally, I’m thrown off again. But I let her vent. A few days pass and we don’t talk. I get another call, an angry one. She’s calling me all kinda broke ass niggas and telling me I must be fucking with another bitch. She was right, I was definitely broke and I definitely had bitches. I was thrown off again, but this was the last time.

Her life was literally falling apart in a week of me knowing her and her main concern was if I was fucking with other bitches? Between the coke and delusion, I was ready to throw in the towel. And I did. I also blocked her. God can strike me down if I’m lying, she called me every morning at 6am from text now numbers for 6 months straight. Some days she was cussing and yelling at the phone. Other days she would be crying and begging to fuck with me again. No matter the day, the text now number got blocked.

She used to make fake pages to stalk me on social media. I used to post “free bro” shit and whoever I was saying free, she would comment and be like I can’t wait till he get out so I can fuck him. I used to post dead niggas and she would say I wish he was still alive I woulda fucked him. At this point I’m being harassed with no sign of relief ahead. So at least I thought. By the grace of God, another nigga I know knocks her and she finally stops cyber bullying me.

I guess the moral of the story is don’t do drugs. Don’t meet people off the internet. And most importantly don’t be a freaky bum.

The end